The Secret diaries of Yugioh
by DJ Kouji-slice
Summary: Chapter FOUR now up and tasty! Otogi opens to his secret love and mourn over the poor death of peggy. Not to mention we see a little of Raphaels cuter side. The many writeings of the yugioh characters warning: foul language and other stuff I'm still
1. Dear Diary

Disclaimer: YU-GI-OH and all its RESPECTED characters and IDEAS do NOT BELONG to ME. YU-GI-OH BELONGS to its RIGHTFUL OWNER(S)

Dear diary of Yami,

You know those days when you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? He he he I do.-

"Yami whats that?"  
"Ahh go away!"

That was Yugi... I wish he wouldn't be so nosy. I know, 'he's my other half' blah blah blah', but a girl ahem man deserves his privacy right? Well I'll forgive him this time, but only because he's cute. . Well since this IS my first page, I should tell you a little about myself and my-

"WAAAAH!!!"  
"Yugi, whats wrong?"  
"My feelings hurt..."  
"What do you mean?"  
"Kaiba hates me!"  
"Kaiba doesn't hate you"  
"He...sniff... he doesn't?"  
"Of course not, he hates everyone!"

That rotten slut of a CEO. I mean really, I bet he spends his free time kicking puppies! I mean, I was talking to my girlfriend ahem I mean my buddy Bakura and he said Kaiba is a 'flipping cunt', and I tottaly agree! Kaiba is richer then Yugi covored in fudge! (which is nice and full of vitamins and minerals!) But does he give any of that money to me ahem starveing children!? No! What if it was Mokuba starveing? It would be a whole different story wouldn't it? Hey... speaking of Mokuba... why is it always him getting kidnapped? I mean... I guess there isn't much else you could hold ransom from Kaiba. I bet though, if it were his blue eyes white dragons, it would be a lot more effective of a ransom! That low-hearted bastard!

Dear Journal of Jonouchi,

Yo. Hangin wid da guys taday. I dink Honda is gettin a little tew close tew Otogi. Maybe hes got some kinda fag-crush or sumtin. ACK! boston accent suddenly vanished Is it that easy to tell if somebody has a crush on somebody else!? I haven't been standing too close to Kaiba anytime recently have I!?

Dear diary of Pegasus,

I'm so lonely sniff rich people are so misunderstood... maybe I should kidnap little Mokuba again... te he he...

Dear Diary of Yugi Mutou

Is it just me or did Yami wink at me today in the most confounded way?

Dear Journal of Mokuba Kaiba,

I had another Pegusus nightmare... sniff... I understand he gets lonely, but I shouldn't have to suffer for it.

Dear Journal of Ryuuchi Otogi,

Okay I am official freaked out. What is with Honda? Can I stand atleast more then two feet away from him? I mean, a guy needs to breathe here! I hope he isn't feeling me up...

Dear diary of Seto Kaiba,

The bisuness is going down again... maybe we can sell Mokuba's body... is Jonouchi standing too close to me or something? and why the hell did Yugi run off crying when I said he derserves to die? I mean, its a fact we all have to face someday. Well... besides me... and maybe that Jonouchi... No must repress my lustful feelings! Rich people are so misunderstood sob Anyways I think someone is stealing my trench coats out of my closet or something because it lessens everyday...

Dear diary of Mako Tsunami

Fish fish fish!

Dear diary of Yami Yugi

Yugi looks so cute in his school uniform! I just wanna gobble that lil' thang up!

Dear diary of Honda,

Everyday I'm an inch closer to that ass! I shall tap you! Its my destiny!

Dear diary of Mokuba,

What does Kaiba mean by 'selling my body'? I asked him if i was going to be some kind of slave and he said a certain kind... sob

Dear diary of Yugi Mutou

Why is everybody standing so close to eachother?

Dear diary of Ryou Bakura,

What an interesting day! Tea time was just brilliant and-

"What in bloody hell are you writeing you farking bint?"

Bakura this is private! Will you excuse yourself of my presence please?

"Very well whoreson, its probably just a cobblers pile of inferior rubbish. Nothing I'd give a rats arse about!"

Bakura please!

"Fine I'll sod off you little blighter."

sigh I wish Bakura wouldn't talk like that, it is effensive to my feeble heart sob

Dear diary of Honda

If he asks, my hand just slipped...

Dear diary of Yugi Mutou

Is Yami trying to eat me?

Dear diary of Jonouchi,

Yay Kaiba's trenchcoats!

------

Thanks for reading this fic! I know its kinda wierd and probably gonna rub some of you the wrong way, bit i wrote it a while ago and a friend said i should post it anyways fer shits and giggles. And I know, Bakura makes no sense and is a sad attempt at an angry british guy. I know I make a lot of horrible attempts, but don't misjudge me... lol have a good day!


	2. The Secret diaries of ass

Disclaimer: YU-GI-OH and all its RESPECTED characters and IDEAS do NOT BELONG to ME. YU-GI-OH BELONGS to its RIGHTFUL OWNER(S) 

Dear diary of Kaiba

I can't get you out of my mind... Jonouchi... I try to repress my feelings of uncontainable love but- Wait could Jonouchi be the trenchcoat culprut!? My Seto senses are tingleing...

Dear Diary of Merik,

These people suck. Im busy, just trying to kill somebody, nobodys bisuness, then some guy tells me Im under a rest. WTF is a rest? I guess its the place I'm in right now... well actualy Malik... I hid in the millinium rod because those guys asked if I wanted a piece and I wasn't really hungry. Now Malik is complainging about his $$ and fleas. Oh, why wasn't I hungry? I already had some from a blond kid thats in my jail cell... nyeh heh heh...

Dear diary of Pegasus,

I shouldn't drink so many white spritzers... (thud)

Dear diary of Bakura,

Farking yacky mexican ass pirate- I can't blame him though cuz Mmm Mmm! Damn! Otogi got back!

Dear diary of Jonouchi,

I can't belive Kaiba accused me for stealing his trenchcoats! on top of that, Merik had to be my cellmate... sob...

Dear diary of Mokuba,

Yay! Pegasus is in the hospital! Maybe I can send poisonous DEATH flowers! (ahem) I mean a 'get-well-soon' explosiv- card... yeah card...

Dear diary of Malik,

Why did I drop the soap? ...sob... my only friends are the fleas...

Dear diary of Honda,

Whats this? Somebody's after MY man-chew? This ass aint big enough for the both of us... I reckon I should teach this randomly angry brtitsh youngin a lesson (kicks spars in dirt)

Dear diary of Yugi,

Jonouchi? In Jail!? Darnit, why does he have to be such a juvenile deliquent like that?

"WE GOTZ TAH BUZT TAH BIZZAY OUT!"

That was Yami, he's been talking smaqk lingo ever since he got street cred from the amounts of blingity bling the millinium puzzle happens to be.

"LETZ D-D-D-D-DA-DUELIZZLE!"

Dear diary of Dinosaur,

The lack of plot in this fic hurts me physicaly...

Dear diary of Honda,

Otogi's ass... the final frontier... (Spits out some chewing tobacco)

Dear diary of Merik,

Hey look its bush head! Quick get me some lawn cutters and-

"Yugi! Its me, malik! Remember me? Aren't you... going to help me...?"

Hey he's takeing my little blonde bang-basket!

"Yu...gi? ...sob..."

Dear diary of Otogi,

Ass cowboys are after me...

Dear diary of Jonouchi,

Wow Yugi came and saved me! Well kinda Yami... I mean... he did... as he put it... "Bust-a-cap-in-yo-ass" the gaurds...

Dear diary of Dinosaur,

Hello, and welcome to dinosaurs diary of 'state-the-obvious'. Im your tour guide Dinosaur and I'd like to mention that the word ass is overly used in this fic.

----

This one is kinda shorter then the first I think, and kinda different. Thankyou so much for reading! Your the best! (whoever you are... out there... in a galaxy... far... far... away...)


	3. Its number three! OMFG! Lets get funky!

Disclaimer: YU-GI-OH and all its RESPECTED characters and IDEAS do NOT BELONG to ME.

Dear diary of Kaiba,

What? That dog excaped from the frozen cells from which he belongs I have not fully repayed my revenge! NO ONE TAKES MY TRENCHCOATS! RAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Dear diary of Ryou Bakura,

Bakura came in at the very dawn of morning, quite the contrary of sober I must say.

"I'm... hick ... so wasted... thud"

Bakura!

Dear diary of Pegasus,

That Mokuba is a great kid. I mean, after stealing his soul and keeping him in a dark and mentally damaging dougen he still brings me presents in wishes that I get well soon! Maybe we developed a loving connection of child moles- ahem- friendship after all! Wait why is it ticking...?

Dear diary of Ishuzu Ishtar,

My stupid brother came in drunk as Hell... seeing as he tried to play grab ass with me, forgeting that fact that we are related and that would be insest... then again I think those Kaiba brothers are up to some sick stuff. I tell you, being the queen of useless gossip and extended nonesense knowledge from 3000 years ago, I would know. Trust me, they are bad, bad little boys.

Dear Diary of Otogi,

Well its seems my ass is safe from Bakura seeing as he is being hunted by the law...

Dear diary of Yugi,

Oh Yami... I can't believe... ANZU GOT HIT BY A BUS! sob

"pat pat, Its okay little guy, this time these guys weren't sober...

WAAAAH- Wait when else did Anzu get hit by a bus?

"Er... heh heh..."

Dear diray of Mokuba,

Ahahaha, you only have an half an hour till your doom! AHAHAHA DIE BITCH! AHAHA-

"Mokuba!"

Ugh... (cute voice) Yes big brother?"

"Watch your mouth!"

"Sorry big brother!"

Dear diary of Meric,

Man I have the worst case of hangover... wait... (looks in pants) Why am I wearing ladies underwear? Hey thats strange... today is Sunday, but the panties says Wensday... or atleast I think its Sunday... maybe... like... August... wait thats not a weekday... augh my head... I'm going to keel over...

Dear diary of Jonouchi,

Now that Anzu got hit by those guys on the bus the cops forgot about my er... my grand escape! WAIT... it was Anzu who got hit by the bus? Oh no... I can't believe it... she totally owed me five bucks man!

Dear diary of Honda,

I love it when Otogi acts like a girl, like when he twrils his hair! He he he! He's such a stud!

Dear diary of Otogi,

Thats it! I can't take this anymore Honda, for I have someone else for which my heart desires! Its... Its...

Dear diary of Honda,

No please don't be so! Please Otogi... I just can't handle the truth!

Dear diary of Mokuba,

Five...

Dear diary of Pegasus,

... Maybe its just a clock...

Dear diary of Mokuba,

Four...

Dear diary of Otogi,

I... I LOVE MAKO!

Dear diary of Mokuba,

Three...

Dear diary of Honda,

NOOOOOOOOOO!

Dear diary of Mokuba,

Two...

Dear diary of Pegasus,

Why do I have this feeling that something bad is going to happen...?

Dear diary of Mokuba,

One...

Dear diary of Mako,

...fish?

Dear diary of Mokuba,

BOOOOM!

"Mokuba! Would you please be quiet? I'm trying to work!"

Sorry big brother! Didn't know what you where doing on that laptop of yours was so important! My bad!

"Hey whats that suppose to mean...? Of course its important!"

I bet you all ten bucks its tetris or COUGH NAUGHTY JONOUCHI PICTURES COUGH!

"MOKUBA I SAID BE QUIET!"

Dear diary of Malic,

Is it just me or does sister have some kind of fetish for the Kaiba brothers...? I mean she keeps insisting they are like... yaknow... 'doing stuff'...

'REALLY? Thats hot!"

Meric shutup!

"snore..."

Uh... anyways, yeah I mean the other reason that I think this is maybe because of those pictures of Seto and Mokuba she has stashed away and that telescope poiting in the direction of the Kaiba mansion... just a hunch though.

Dear diary of Yugi,

Is it just me or did I hear a very loud noise like a explosion...?

"AH ITS THE RAGE OF RA! HE'S COME FOR MY SOUL!" (hides under covers)

Hey no-one is allowed in my blankets Yami!

"Why...? (looks at blanket) Awwe cute little clouds and stars... just like your PJs!"

DANGIT YAMI SHUDDUP! Grampa got those!

Dear diary of Kaiba,

Since Mokuba seems to have the cough I guess he wont be going to KaibaLand tomarrow! Ha! ...Aw damn I didn't mean to put that yellow peice there...

Dear diary of Honda,

(sigh) Oh my Otogi... now who shall I turn to...? Wait... (looks at Bakura)

Dear diary of Bakura,

Why is Honda looking at me like that...?


	4. Like a barrel of monkeys, except worse

Disclaimer: YUGIOH IS NOT MINE OKAY? THATS RIGHT. NOT MINE. NOW READ THE FIC.

Dear diary of Kaiba,

I like my women like I like my blue eyes, three at a time.

_A friendly letter..._

Dear Legendary "Fishhunk" of my dreams,

Your ripping biceps... your chisled body... tall... dark... handsom... the way the waves of the sea cascade down your man-chew... OH MY GOD COULD YOU LIKE... DO ME? I really want you.

the prettiest character on the show Otogi

Dear diary of Raphael,

I had the cutest dream that I was running through this flower field and all the bunnies where saying hello! There was an Amelda and Varon bunny! So cute! He he he! (claps hands)

Dear diary of Honda,

I think I like Bakura, its just... just the way he looks at me! Okay so maybe its more like the way I look at him...

Dear diary of Mokuba,

Gee yes how tragic it is to hear about Pegasus's death... I'm very crushed... cough

Dear diary of Bakura,

I hate you Honda. I really do. Very much. I hate you the most, and I hate everyone.

Dear diary of Jonouchi,

He he, Kaiba gave me a cold glare today! It was so sexy!

Dear diary of Dinasour,

For the love of gyawd! Am I surrounded by fags or something? Why don't we just call the freakin show, "Yu-gi-oh: Duel fags" because obviously the fiction world has been taken over by fangirls who like to imagine Yami buttduel Yugi!

Dear diary of Ishizu,

That telescope is for my love to astronomy! Thats all!

Dear diary of Mai,

Maybe if I wore a rediculously large white trenchcoat and metal gauntlets Jonouchi might be more attracted to me.

Dear diary of Mako,

... I SUMMON GIANT WHALE!

Dear diary of Otogi,

OMFG A GIANT WHALE! (squish)

Dear diary of Malic,

More like your love to Kaiba brother slash sister, and how do you explain these pictures?

Dear diary of Yami,

Man I'd really like to buttduel Yugi...


End file.
